Taking a dive into territory outside of my normal comfort zone this summer, Tony, myself and three other couples have embarked upon an art/Bible study. To say that is has been enriching, enlightening, illuminating, educational, uplifting, and expansive would be a gross understatement.
This Soul Persuit study (www.soulpersuit.com) has been a deepening and intentional time of reflection, as well as outside the box worship and creative expression. I am learning so much from my friends. I am gleaning wisdom, perspective, and alternative points of view and possibilities that could only come from the riches of Divinely inspired fellowship … I think some of our best times with Him come through our time with other believers, I really do.
Our study is taking us into the heart of David through his laments. these Psalms were written in a crying out to the Lord throughout various times in David’s sometimes crazy, unpredicatble, undulating, consequence-laden life … We are walking through and reflecting pensively upon things like what God’s deliverance looks and feels like, how it feels when our enemies come against us, and waiting on the Lord.
For my topic this week, I chose the delve more deeply into my experiences regarding the Lord’s silence. A few years ago, I went through an extremely long and uninterrupted period of at least 5 and a half years where I felt like I heard nothing from God. If you’ve read any of my first few posts, you know that the last year and a half has been some of the most fruitful, productive, and intimate time I have ever had with the Lord.
What I learned most in those time of silence was how to be patient, how to rely on faith instead of feelings, and how to trust in my God who has all the answers, all the delieverance, and all the restoration I will ever need … if I am willing to wait. Just because I don’t feel Him doesn’t mean He is not there. Just because I am getting no answers doen’t mean He’s not paying attention or at work on my circumstances. What is it God is waiting for me to do? What is my role in all of this silence, if any?
There is always purpose, there is always a plan, and there is always hope. This was this week’s offering.
Silence … your silence …
It is numbing, deafening this silence
this perplexing wait, my long-winded sighs of confusion
But never a “will you?”, only a “when?” or “for what am I waiting?”
Held tightly in Your grasp
Your unwavering, unchanging will
molding, holding it all together
Silence breeding this patience, honing this faith
birthing new life, new trust from dead dry bones
producing that which feeds only on time
But I am faulty, feeble, fallible, fearful
a card carrying member of faith
my confidence fortified, ever trusting in You …
In Providence,
In Wisdom,
in Truth.
in my future,
in Your hope,
in perfect timing
And so Your silence silences me …
